Almost Chill

Almost Worth Your Time…Almost

This Mike Trout/Entire City Of Philadelphia Romance Has Gone Too Far

mike trout

This Mike Trout love affair has officially jumped the shark. Philly sports is in such a dead zone/lull right now, the only stories I have seen and heard about for the past 3 days is the preparation and arrival of Jesus Christ  Mike Trout in Philadelphia. At this point I’m kind of expecting the Phil’s pitchers to just throw BP to Trout and Mike gives high fives to the infield as he rounds the bases while the crowd goes BANANAS. Trout even has a fan in Ryan Howard. Yeahhh, Everyone seems to be coming around… well I’m not Doug! This man is destroying Phillies baseball.

Don’t get me wrong, Mike Trout is the fucking man. Just a 22-year old bro from Jersey who loves the Phillies and is dominating Major League Baseball. It kind of sounds like we could be pretty good friends. Oh and he just signed a $145 Million contract. Then there is this quote from Mike’s dad that will be remembered forever. Back in the day, even after he was in the Angels system, Trout was rooting for the Phillies,

“Trout’s father recalled a story from a few years back when in the middle of the night, Jeff heard Mike scream from his room.

“Dad, we got Roy Halladay!” Mike yelled. To which his Dad responded: “the Angels got Halladay?”

“No, the Phillies did!” Mike replied. “Son, you’re a member of the Angels. What’s with this we?!”

On top of all that, he’s also an Eagles fan.

But enough is enough, this is Phillies baseball! The only team to win a championship for this city in 31 years! Show some fucking pride or something!

Ahhh, who am I kidding? I love Mike Trout too. The Phillies aren’t going to win a damn thing this year anyway, so let’s show Mike a good time while he’s home. If we do it right, maybe 7 years from now, when his contract expires, he will want to come back home and play for the Phillies and lead us back to glory. It’s called planting seeds, so you can fuck the plant. Read a book.

Here are some Trout highlights if you are unfamiliar with his body of work… or you’re tired of jerking off to porn.


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This entry was posted on May 14, 2014 by .
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